Not Knowing, Presencing, and Creating

Tid bits of journeying through life.

It’s been a few months since Sarah and I spoke in January about how we’re walking through the unknown. And per my usual habit, I continued to unwind the thread of ideas that spring from experiences on a daily basis that remind me of our conversation.

I’m in the midst of bringing a few ideas into form, and the not knowing has created several loops of distraction from my creative ideas. Amazing how many creative ways I distract myself: It’s spring, and the apple tree is blossoming in our yard. It won’t be flowering forever so I must go out and enjoy it…now. It’s sunny. I must get my sun. I want to take photos of the bees - oh wait, maybe a video, to capture the buzzing sound. And I need to hydrate….the list goes on.

I came across Louie Schwartsberg’s podcast, Wonder & Awe in February, and the recent interview with Lindsey Sterling that articulates one perspective of stepping into the new. Lindsey explains what she felt was “impossible” at minute 31:47:

I realized that it was a process every single time…. I’d have to remind myself that this is about trust; this is about knowing that I’ve done it before and I can do it again…. Sometimes we face pain and hardship, and say ‘I can’t do this.’

You realize this feeling that this is impossible…is just the first few steps.

She talks about remembering you’ve done this before, and can trust that you can do it again. And I’m thinking: we’ve lived lifetimes before, and have survived life and experienced many deaths. And here we are, again, returning to experience this physical world to do something even better than before (or whatever we were thinking when we were a ball of light).

Esther Hicks talks about turning your attention toward something else so you don’t ruminate over thoughts that take you down a limited mindset. I’m more interested in stilling the mind because I trust and am in presence. I’ve been practicing this for a few days now, and I’m finding that I feel lighter, less crunchy in the brain, and more willing to act on ideas that reveal themselves to me in just the right time and the right progression. Doesn’t mean I get constipated with doubt that stops me from action.

As Jessica Eldenstjärna reminds me, “everything we do is correct”. And I need constant reminders! Like today, when Pippi, who is collaborating with me and Jessica on bringing you and the general public light code NFTs, reminded me in our Monday morning calls of what might be happening despite my anxiety of “not getting things done”:

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» On a side note, but related to the act of creation «

My partner reminded me recently, “You realize you now have your Monday Connections.” I blinked. It took me a few seconds to connect the dots of a previous incarnation of these Monday NFT calls I’m having with artists.… and I was in awe of the process of the ninja move by ‘Universe’:

Since last year, I attempted establishing what I called “Monday Connections” video calls with light language practitioners who want to enhance, fine-tune, and explore their light language and codes in a safe, fun environment. I’d met enough light language practitioners who weren’t sharing their language or codes with one another - and even with the invitation, backed out of it (including in ceremonies). Those who did emerge and explore their sounds in front of people (us - and by us, I mean people who are already doing light language publicly) were elated, encouraged, and often deeply moved by their own sound. Anyway, it didn’t stick, and what ensued was fascinating reminder of the power of intention (I’ll share more on this in another episode if it’s a recurring theme). So when last month, my partner casually commented on how great it is that I finally have my Monday Connections, with people who actually want to show up and be present, I was awestruck. And then giddy.

Hot damn. I had missed the shift and creation of it; and super excited in the knowing that these calls were meaningful, inspiring, and joyful. The ‘Better than Better’ version of what I initially expected to create.

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Some people have the belief that the “detours” of your life are mistakes, but I’m of the belief that these so called detours enable us to gather what we need, rest and recharge, or shift and transform to step into the next moment of creation - that which we desire to bring into the material world for us to experience, thereby creating an opportunity for others who also picked up on the frequency of the idea to experience without having to create it themselves.

I started the podcast, Return to Wonder, to solve a problem I was experiencing. And in the creation, I enjoy meeting more folks who deepen my understanding of humanity, perspectives, different realities that exist among all of us, and insights that I need in the moment. It also opens me to learn different technologies, methods of telling stories, and establishing themes for the next season. And because I did it primarily for me, I re-listen to the interviews and my own transmissions when I need to hear a particular frequency across time and space.

I don’t know how it will unfold, like my Monday Connections, and I’m finding that I’m in a frequency - a being-ness - that doesn’t find any drama in the creation. So now, as I’m typing this, I’m realizing, hey Junko, apply the same concept to all the other projects. Again, I love my Monday morning calls with the ladies. They communicate what wants to be shared, and inspire my soul:

Whether its art, a project, a business, a family - I strive to remain in this space of creating with joy. I often forget to play and experiment, as I’ve also forgotten to take care of my body as I change the foods I eat. I’m reminded each time I put my attention to my podcast, that it’s called “Return to Wonder” for a reason!

Sometimes, I feel like the whole process of building this podcast and web blog is to not only stay in wonder, but to deepen my understanding of being human alongside those who are likewise having to learn. And in the “alongsided-ness,” I get to play.

I’m curious what the world would look and feel like as larger groups of folks start speaking, dancing, creating with light codes - the cosmic, infinite wisdom within them.

What ideas are you tuning into, and how are you bringing it into form?